Out of the Blue, Into the Black: In Memoriam: Geharis Telemachus Rhade Fainga'a

In Memoriam: Geharis Telemachus Rhade Fainga'a

c. December 2010 - 18 August 2014

"This morning after a brief search we discovered that we had lost our dear brother Rhade. He had gone missing a day earlier. He was found on the south side of the front yard of the Tongilava residence on Hala Taufa'ahau in Fanga, the apparent victim of a single bite from a dog. The investigation concludes that Rhade and another member of this squadron were engaged in an exercise, and that his death was a training accident."
--statement earlier today by LtCol Dylan Hunt Gangale, Commander, 1st Royal Tongan Tiger Squadron

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Rhade is believed to have been born on the property of Pamela Gilpin in Longolongo some time in December 2010 to one of the many cats she cared for during her long life.

Rhade was known to all as the friendliest cat they had ever met. Our first contact with him was on 8 April 2011. Marilyn Dudley-Flores and I were returning home from shopping downtown, and we had stopped the taxi at the fale koloa (small grocery kiosk) on the corner of our street for a few more items. He was tagging along with two girls from the nearby primary school as though he knew them well. At first sight, I thought that Dylan Hunt Gangale had somehow found a way out of our house, so close was the resemblance. When I realized that it was not Dylan, knowing that our next door neighbors 'Uta and Taleki Fainga'a wanted a cat, I asked the girls, "Is that your cat?" They said no, that we could have him. The Fainga'as were away for the weekend, so we took Rhade home with us. Dylan sniffed him and immediately accepted him. Apparently they were close relatives, possibly even brothers, about eight months apart in age.

"Welcome to the squadron."

Rhade would not stay at the Fainga'a house. He was welcome to be at our house and in our yard with Dylan and our dog Andromeda during the day, but I always insisted on carrying him next door in the evening, and I would tell Mata as I handed him to her, "This is a great cat!" Sometimes I would carry him over there three of four times and he would be peering through our kitchen window within minutes of my return. He was always waiting outside that window in the morning. The three of them -- Dylan, Andromeda, and Rhade -- were inseparable members of the squadron. After a few weeks it became clear that we belonged to Rhade, and that further attempts to alter the situation were futile. However, the experience of shuttling between the two houses did make him more of a ranger than Dylan, who preferred to remain in our yard or to hunt in the rafters, and Rhade became comfortable having both houses as his territory.

Dylan caught a mouse one day and gave it to Rhade to play with. I watched with fascination for a long time as Rhade joyfully discovered the essence of his inner predator. From then on, it seemed as though Dylan and Rhade were in competition to run up their scores, and I soon lost count.

"I know what I am now! I'm a CAT!"

We called them the "Boogie Brothers" because they loved the night life, and the "Bookends" because they looked so much alike. But Rhade had the habit of squinting a lot, whereas Dylan's eyes are usually wide open, and because Marilyn can never keep straight which actor is Al Pacino and which is Robert DeNiro, I developed this mnemonic device: Dylan was Al Pacino and Rhade was Robert DeNiro. Are you talking' to ME? My father believed that cats squint as a display of trust, as if to say, "I do not need to be vigilant in your presence." If so, Rhade was the world's most trusting cat.

Bookends

The Incredible Two-Headed Cat!

As fate would have it, a few months after Rhade joined us, we were forced out of our house and the Fainga'as welcomed us into their home. That evening Dylan cried to be let into the darkened and deserted house. He did not yet understand that his little world had changed and he was distraught. Now Rhade's greater range paid off; he crossed from the Fainga'a house to Dylan, and returned with Dylan a few minutes later. This is what squadron brothers do: they bring each other home, no one gets left behind.

Tigers in the Grass

Rhade loved to mix it up with his squadron mates, both feline and canine, and he was very vocal about it. "UAAU-uau-uau-uau-uau-UAAU!" He acquired the nicknames "Little Uau-uau-uau" and "the Wowser." He was also the "Hot Rod." As he grew bigger and stronger he became the instigator of rough-housing more often. He was the "Fighting Fainga'a" and the "War Kitten." A yellow tabby had colonized the Fainga'as’ rafters before we moved in with them, and there were many running battles across the ceiling. We told stories about Rhade's cat cussing. "UAAU-uau-uau-uau-uau-UAAU! Wait till my big brother Dylan comes up here and rips you a new asshole! UAAU-uau-uau-uau-uau-UAAU!" Rhade and Dylan campaigned in the rafters together for several months, while Andromeda barked and whined at the ceiling because she could not slip the surly bonds of Earth along with them but could only urge them on, and ultimately Yellow Boy's incursions ceased, but not before one of them put his paw through a weak spot in the ceiling. Oops, some collateral damage.

One time Dylan chased Yellow Boy up the kola tree on the side of the Fainga'a house, then had to ponder how to get back down. I put Rhade on a branch just above my head, he climbed up to Dylan's level, then Dylan followed him down. This is what squadron brothers do: they bring each other home, no one gets left behind.

Conquest of the Vertical

By the time the squadron relocated from Longolongo to Fanga, Dylan and Rhade were such proficient mousers that we called them the "Rat Ranchers;" whenever they felt like having a quick bite to eat they would simply go out to the ranch and cull the herd.

Rhade returned to the Fainga'a house in Longolongo for a few months on temporary duty (TDY) to mouse their house. The Fainga'as were very fond of the "Prince." (The Tongan crown prince is called "Tupouto'a," and who is better at tippy-toeing than a pusi?) It was our intent that he be their cat, and as it turned out he really was theirs as well as ours.

There is academic literature pointing to the positive influence cats can have on human health. What I was unprepared for was that a cat would volunteer his services to a total stranger. Shortly after Rhade returned to the squadron in Fanga, a recent acquaintance became ill with chikungunya, a mosquito-born viral disease. We opened our house to him because his quarters were substandard (it did not even have electrical power). Rhade adopted him as his patient during his several months of convalescence, attending him throughout most of the day and night.

In all, Geharis Telemachus Rhade Fainga'a was a squinting, purring, head-bonking, love-biting, kneading, drooling, food-snatching, floor-mat-scratching, fur-ball-puking, hissing, spitting, yowling, cussing, street-brawling, rat-ranching, cuddling, care-giving cat. We met him in the beginning chasing little human girls down the road, and it appears that he met his end performing the predator dance with one of his canine girlfriends. It was our privilege to share one of his nine lives.