Recently it came to my attention that in August 2014 Frans von der Dunk announced that "staff, faculty, alumni and students of the UNL Space, Cyber and Telecommunications Law program democratically voted for the Fabulous Forty of Space Law, forty 'songs' across the ages from amongst ultimately 189 nominated which best represent space law." He characterizes this as a shortcut to my "mega-project of listing a 100 CDs worth of space music."
1. Rocket Man Elton John 197
2. Space Oddity David Bowie 169
3. Fly Me To The Moon Frank Sinatra 146
4. Man On The Moon R.E.M. 121
5. Here Comes The Sun Beatles 94
6. Drops Of Jupiter Train 87
7. The Final Countdown Europe 85
8. Shine On You Crazy Diamond Pink Floyd 83
9. Bad Moon Rising Creedence Clearwater Revival 82
10. Kryptonite 3 Doors Down 73
11. Intergalactic Beastie Boys 67
12. Across The Universe Beatles 63
13. Champagne Supernova Oasis 62
14. Counting Stars OneRepublic 61
15. Eclipse Pink Floyd 60
16. Starman David Bowie 59
17. Talking To The Moon Bruno Mars 55
18. Also Sprach Zarathustra Richard Strauss (Op. 31) 55
19. Supermassive Black Hole Muse 55
20. Walking On The Moon Police 53
21. E.T. Katy Perry 50
22. Sirius Alan Parsons Project 46
23. Black Hole Sun Soundgarden 41
24. Telstar Tornados 40
25. Spaceman Killers 39
26. We Are All Made Of Stars Moby 38
27. Venus Bananarama 37
28. Brain Damage Pink Floyd 35
29. Koyaanisqatsi Philip Glass 35
30. The Planets Gustav Holst (Op. 32) 35
31. Jupiter Earth, Wind & Fire 34
32. See The Sun Dido 33
33. Moon Over Bourbon Street Sting 32
34. Cosmic Girl Jamiroquai 32
35. Major Tom Peter Schilling 31
36. An Der Schönen Blauen Donau Johann Strauss II (Op. 314) 31
37. Space M.I.A. 31
38. Walkin’ On The Sun Smash Mouth 30
39. Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun Pink Floyd 30
40. Planet Earth Duran Duran 29
All of this is in good fun, and it is in that spirit that I don the persona of Professor Charles Kingsfield to evaluate the merits of the Nebraska-Lincoln project.
I define a space song as satisfying one of the following rules:
1. The lyrics pertain to the action of going to or coming from, or the state of being in outer space or on a celestial body, even when used as a metaphor regarding human relationships, which is what most songs are.
2. The lyrics pertain to historical figures or fictional characters who have either performed action of going to or coming from, or the state of being in outer space or on a celestial body.
3. The lyrics pertain to communication or a close encounter with, or a sighting of, an extraterrestrial spacecraft or the recent occupant thereof, or pertain to a physical connection between Earth and outer space.
4. In the case of instrumental music, the title of the work must sufficiently infer either Rules 1 through 3 described supra. A title consisting only of the name of a celestial body is presumed to place the subject of the music in the context of astronomy, the scientific study of outer space.
5. The mere mention of a celestial body that is easily and routinely observed from the surface of Earth, such as the Sun or the Moon, or natural phenomena pertaining to them that is routinely witnessed from the surface of Earth such as the rising or setting or eclipses of the Sun or the Moon, whether in the title of an instrumental piece or in lyrics, fails Rules 1 through 4 described supra.
Applying these rules, I find as follows:
4. "Man On The Moon" by R.E.M. is about the comic actor Andy Kaufman.
5. "Here Comes The Sun" by the Beatles refers to a natural phenomenon, the Sun emerging from behind the clouds.
7. "The Final Countdown" by Europe is not about spaceflight; any number of events having a time certain can be counted down, from the fade-in of a television program to the silver ball dropping in Times Square on New Year's Eve.
8. "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" by Pink Floyd is no more a space song than are "Shine On Harvest Moon," "Good Day Sunshine," "Sunshine Superman," "Good Morning Starshine," et cetera.
9. "Bad Moon Rising" by Creedence Clearwater Revival is about apocalyptic prophesy.
10. "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down refers to Superman, an extraterrestrial; however, most of the stories about this fictional character take place years after he came to Earth as an infant and pertain to his experiences on Earth. The song's only reference to Superman is in the context of his susceptibility to kryptonite, which is used as a metaphor for the singer's weakness for another person; it is not, even metaphorically, about spaceflight.
12. "Across The Universe" by the Beatles is about a spiritual journey, not physical spaceflight.
13. "Champagne Supernova" by Oasis is about a dissolute lifestyle that includes the use of recreational drugs.
14. "Counting Stars" by OneRepublic refers to a natural phenomenon, the appearance of stars in the night sky, although it is true that counting stars is becoming a more difficult exercise in the more light polluted cities of the world.
15. "Eclipse" by Pink Floyd refers to a natural phenomenon, and only tangentially so, having nothing substantive to do with the other lyrics.
17. "Talking To The Moon" by Bruno Mars is about a man mooning over his absent sweetheart, but is no more actual communication with someone on the Moon than is a dog baying at the Moon; indeed, arguably it is less.
18. "Also Sprach Zarathustra" by Richard Strauss is a 19th century tone poem about German philosophy, Stanley Kubrick's much later use of the music notwithstanding.
19. "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse refers to a natural phenomenon, and only tangentially so, having nothing substantive to do with the other lyrics.
23. "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden is a song that I very reluctantly tossed out of my canon; I like it very much, but it is too metaphorical to satisfy the tests, in much the same way as are "Starship Trooper" by Yes and "Neptune With Fire" by the Ancestors, and I was forced to rule that these describe spiritual journeys.
27. "Venus" by Bananarama (originally by the Dutch rock band Shocking Blue) is about the Greek goddess of beauty and love, not the planet of the same name.
28. "Brain Damage" by Pink Floyd is the most plausible diagnosis for anyone who believes this song to be about spaceflight.
29. Koyaanisqatsi by Philip Glass is the soundtrack of the film of the same name. Wikipedia states: "In the Hopi language, the word Koyaanisqatsi means 'unbalanced life.' The film is the first in the Qatsi trilogy of films…. The trilogy depicts different aspects of the relationship between humans, nature, and technology." Nowhere is it suggested that spaceflight is a major theme of the film; rather, a "final sequence shows footage of a rocket lifting off, only to end up exploding after a few seconds," as one of many manifestations of technology. In the same vein, texting someone on a mobile telephone does not constitute a theme of spaceflight, although the signal may be relayed through a satellite.
32. "See The Sun" by Dido refers to a natural phenomenon.
33. "Moon Over Bourbon Street" by Sting refers to a natural phenomenon; it is no more a space song than is "Moon Over Miami."
36. "An Der Schönen Blauen Donau" by "Johann Strauss II" is a 19th century waltz about a European river, Stanley Kubrick's much later use of the music notwithstanding.
38. "Walkin’ On The Sun" by Smash Mouth alludes to the metaphorical condition one can expect to suffer by failing to take advantage of the fabulous commercial offer suggested in the song; in other words, you're hopelessly screwed.
40. "Planet Earth" by Duran Duran is about a post-apocalyptic, lifeless Earth.
In summation, Nebraska-Lincoln's "Fabulous Forty of Space Law" contains twenty-two songs which fail the stated rules, and I believe that Frans will agree with me that 45% is far from being a passing grade. As I stated supra, all of this is in good fun a la Professor Charles Kingsfield; accordingly I also see a pedagogical opportunity here. Consider the methodology by which the "staff, faculty, alumni and students of the UNL Space, Cyber and Telecommunications Law program" generated their list: they "democratically voted." If democracy were all there was to law I should have been hung decades ago; one of the primary purposes of law is to protect the unpopular from the populus. Furthermore, law is based upon certain widely-accepted principles, and certainly there may be a legitimate democratic process in forming the consensus around these general rules, but at a certain point the democratic process ceases to hold sway, and it is left for an expert in these general rules to test specific propositions against them; a judge applies the law to specific legal cases.
I encourage the "staff, faculty, alumni and students of the UNL Space, Cyber and Telecommunications Law program" to reconsider their project: first to develop via debate and consensus a set of rigorous rules that define the required elements of a space song (a fundamental question in space law is, "what do we mean by "outer space?"), and then to argue the case for and against each song. This would more closely parallel the lawmaking process and legal procedure than the holding a mere popularity contest.
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